I really want to vent my grievance, but I know pouring it all out does me no good after all.
Among all problems that emerge every day and await solutions, you never should expect no out-of-the-blue matters that devour you. And I really want to vent my grievance, but I know pouring it all out does me no good after all. I hold and choose to forget. Yet it seems like being asked for something is an endless stream of tortures. Why do I have to think for others, when no one is here to think for me? Why am I expected to solve others’ problems, whilst I can always only rely on my own self to keep myself on the right track? The sufferings to endure just to make sure things won’t go wrong. The least voluntary tolerance just to make sure targets are done. But my tolerance is constantly challenged, from all directions. But why me, only me for such mental torture? I never said one complaining word when people thought they could fool me and take advantage easily of me, because I appeared to be better off. I never slapped people on their faces when they were not good enough at what they thought they were, because I think the only goal and the only purpose I was there was only the bigger picture, others were too trivial to deal with. I never laughed when arrogant but ignorant people acted like fools in front of me, they did not know who on earth they were talking to. And I did try to use the nicest words, the least reluctant smile to cover how much efforts it took just to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, whilst all refusals were the only thing they deserved. I asked my sister yesterday, why all these responsibilities? She said, because people think you are more powerful. Power as in capability. It is something to expect from yourself, not from others. Just let me be negative to the max for a moment, please. After this I will just remain silent again to all those responsibilities I am never willing to bear. But still, after this I will give no more tolerance, will not play nice to the incapable and weak. Why should I take care of their feelings when they should really be sorry for themselves? What you deserve really depends on what you give.
P.S. The picture is Peter Sekaer’s on the time of the Great Depression. Life in the hard times.
Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree.
I travelled the world and the seven seas. Everybody’s looking for something.
Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you.
Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused.
So darn true.
