You just need to be cruel to have the reason to smile, for the world is ridiculous. Everything, everyone is a joke. Dust still settles in though I never open the windows. The sun never glows when I need it most. Money is running out from my bank account despite my long working hours every day. Everyone praises your work and expects you to work fast, perfectly and for free. Seniors try to give me a lesson, talking me into disciplines and full-time jobs. I can only give a wry smile because to me they are boring, valueless slaves who live for anything but themselves. The TV dogma reckons women are to put on pancake makeup, wear hot dresses and see every new male friend as a mating target, as if being fucked is the only purpose of your precious life. I put no powder on my face because I don’t want to scare myself after a decade, I don’t want a full-time job because I want to live a real life, I hate idling time because it is a terrible waste of time. But they tell me that I am so darn wrong and unwise. Outside my windows drunk guys are being destructive to relieve their low self-esteem oppressed by big bosses and landlords. My boyfriend wants me to be part of his family. I don’t think they are nice people because they don’t seem eco-conscious and know life. I stay away from my parents and close relatives because their noisy bitchy gossips are not agreeable but they never realise it. I don’t want to meet them because I reckon no one likes interrogations. I so want to swear when people think because I look young I must be stupid. It is so hard to hold my laugh back when people think they can fool me. Men just rape any chick, hot or not, on the street with their eyes and blame it on women. Rich, ugly guys think money can really veil their disgusting natures. Rich women, interestingly, never feel embarrassed by standing next to stinky wealthy husbands 10 years their senior. People in the city either fight for burying themselves with a timely marriage or a well-fed but dull life. Foreign people can only identify locals who speak English. People only realise you are cool when you have done something cool that lasts. When you have done something cool, people call you buddy and claim the pride theirs. Girls like making funny gestures before the camera, and pride themselves on how many men look at their butt. Bankers or whatever call themselves pick up artists as if the word ‘nerdy’ never exists. They shrink as they stand next to real cool-looking guys.  People compete to be the highest paid employee, as if my satisfaction as a humble, poor self-employer is a shame.

The world is just ridiculous, so how can you smile?

Finally here. I have been waiting, but now I don’t want to read it at all.
It just reminds me too much of that trip very much unlike all others.
Not that it’s special, the whole experience was just completely beyond my expectation.
How undeveloped the place is but how high the spirits of the people are.
How absurdities are twisted to make sense there.
The only time I bought nothing back home at all.
But in the end – I have high admiration for Lagosian women.
Their spirit was a huge lesson to me.
Feminism is well manifested there.
Now I get the answer of why there are so many black men
with Asian women in Hong Kong, but rarely black women with yellow men.
After all, your life depends on no one but on yourself, so does your homeland.

But it’s been a long time since I last read my own words on a magazine.
I guess I love what I do after all. Despite all odds and physical and mental challenges.

完全說不出這一下子的感覺有多好。大概快樂最深層的意義就是如此。就要其實空間內甚麼都沒有，內裡卻感到難以言喻的好。綠油油無垠，包圍著石屎裡或者是自欺的美好森林。旁邊的一對小夫婦借我檯布鋪在草地上，我唯一的回報就是好努力聽著他們的閒話家常，暗裡慶賀他倆的簡單滿足。其實絕大部分時間，都市內的滿足感根本不用物質與虛榮來填充。至少，原來在這裡播著Made In Heights配合純真的鳥語是莫名的窩心。人才不管我出門前塗了防曬沒有，一身新衣服有否沾來或有狗尿的草泥。從來對小清新之事沒有耐性，可是這裡就連塑膠袋聲都份外動聽。

這裡只是一個山頂花園。

This is another night when I woke up in the middle of my night. That was a shock. It took me a long while – I dont remember how long – to let my eyes wide open to admit that, yes that may hurt my health but another sleepless night is just okay. Since when timid hesitation hinders instinct? Another long while is gone before a book is laid wide open. I dont remember when was the last time I turned its pages. It is a fiction. A fiction is not practical enough to deserve a proportion of my time, whilst the stress to read it instead of idling it until it weathers is on the verge of breaking me down. I dont know since when I keep myself on this verge. A moment spent on talking to meaningless people has become the worst shame. A slipped word that exposes ignorance is almost like a sin. I can live with this nerve forever, yet life just wont be easy. But does it ever mean to be finished up easily? I know this revolving dilemma will go on forever. Perhaps pushing me to be a better person who deserve existence everyday, or worse.

After all it doesnt harm much to get up at a wrong time.

事前充滿期待，事後身體累如被肢解。

既然這裡是我自己的地方，且讓我坦率表述。好想做執嘢的衝勁，我個人是出完全徹底的出於憤怒。真係好嬲自己同其他人瘋狂購物，然後呆看家中一堆廢物又不知有何用處。已經好多次自問，範圍大過手掌少少的五官，為何可以吞下滿檯護膚化妝品？四肢和上下體又何以招來衣飾滿櫃？將家宅變成光榮之家，滿屋雜物卻換來精神質量貧乏。我唔撚明白點解經濟興衰一定要用消費指數來衡量。如果搵錢多少都只為購物，用最抽象的享受填充活著的理由，真係但願你早登極樂，以免繼續寄生社會危害地球。親愛的，我知道我總不可以對人口出惡言。因此在執嘢，我們只好用行動表示。

總之，周日的成功實在教人感動。香港係不需要下下待政府醒覺，改變是可以——而且必須——由我們開始。

詳情已經不想多說。原委都不欲多言。一切盡在www.jupyeah.com。
說罷要繼續思考怎樣好好運用餘下物資，與真正有需要和會珍惜的人分享。

So I was in Taiwan again.
But this time I was with my man. We have been too long together to make a big deal out of this heavily commercialised date. But it in no way makes St. Valentine less notable as a Catholic martryr. Still I worship this day, to centralise my attention just on my very particular valentine.

Yes, Taichung is just the backdrop.

This city, far less developed than Taipei, is in no way romantic. But the people, the scenery it’s blessed with, and the heavily polluted but vivid roads are veins of its liveliness. This city runs, laughs and lays back.

In the end I don’t like it really that much, though everyone we ran into said they prefer Taichung to Taipei. But this city is charming anyhow – because of whom I was there with.

我地又來了。三月四，星期日，再次o係策略和聲。
誓要好好執好野，希望大家支持。
環保，真係唔需要下下都講綠色和平既。
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